Setting Boundaries Is a Leadership Skill

September 17, 2025

This is the second article in a five-part series where I share the leadership lessons that have shaped my career in lending. In Part 1, I wrote about the power of Transparency Over Perfection — how being upfront, even when the news isn’t good, builds trust and loyalty faster than any pitch or pricing advantage ever could.

Today, I want to talk about something that’s just as important but often overlooked: setting boundaries.

Let’s be honest — being a woman in lending, especially in a leadership role, comes with its own set of pressures. There’s the expectation to perform at the highest level, to always be available, and to carry more than our fair share — all without showing signs of strain. For a long time, I believed that was just part of the job. But I’ve learned something that changed everything for me: setting boundaries isn’t weakness — it’s wisdom.

It hasn’t always been easy. Early on, I thought saying “yes” to everything was the way to earn respect. But in time, I realized that true leadership isn’t about proving how much you can carry — it’s about knowing what to carry, when to pause, and when to prioritize yourself.

In my career, I’ve been underestimated, talked over, and tested more times than I can count. And yet, I’ve built a reputation for staying grounded in who I am. I don’t lead with ego — I lead with results, and a relentless commitment to doing right by my clients and my team. And part of that commitment is knowing when to draw the line so I can lead with clarity and intention.

I remember one specific moment that truly solidified this lesson for me. A broker I work with closely called me late one evening — not with an emergency, but with a question that could easily wait until the morning. In the past, I would’ve picked up without thinking twice. But this time, I didn’t. I had promised myself to disconnect after a certain hour unless something was urgent. The next morning, I returned the call promptly, gave her everything she needed, and explained — gently but clearly — that I’d been offline to recharge.

Her response stayed with me. Not only did she completely understand, she actually thanked me. She said it reminded her to do the same in her own routine, and that she respected me even more for protecting my space. That’s when I realized: boundaries don’t weaken relationships — they can strengthen them.

Setting boundaries has empowered me to have difficult conversations without losing empathy. It’s helped me separate urgency from noise, and stress from strategy. I’ve learned that when I say “not right now” to something, I’m not closing a door — I’m creating the space I need to show up fully when it matters most.

I used to think boundaries might be seen as a lack of commitment. Now I know they’re a sign of strength. When we model what it looks like to protect our energy, we don’t just serve ourselves — we give permission to those around us to do the same.

And that’s what leadership really is: not doing it all, but showing others how to do it well — with presence, intention, and the stamina to keep going.

Up next in Part 3 of the “Heart First, Hustle Always” series:

“See the Broker, Not Just the File” — a reflection on how recognizing the human behind every deal builds trust, loyalty, and true long-term partnerships.