You Can Have It All, Just Not at Once

This is the fourth article in a five-part series where I share the leadership lessons that have shaped my career in lending. In Part 3, I wrote about the importance of remembering that Our brokers are not pipelines – they are people. Building real relationships with brokers, rooted in trust, transparency, and a commitment to showing up as a true partner through every challenge – helps build loyalty that last.

In this article, we’ll explore why it’s less about chasing perfect balance but more about finding the alignment of balance.

We hear it all the time: “You can have it all.” And while I do believe that’s true, I’ve also learned a valuable truth along the way – you just can’t have it all at once. “Work-life balance” is a phrase that gets tossed around a lot – in interviews, on motivational posters, and in every article promising the secret to professional bliss. The idea of work-life balance is often sold as a perfectly measured equation: equal parts career, family, health, and personal time. In reality? Balance isn’t some flawless, symmetrical structure. Here’s what I’ve learned: balance, at least in the traditional sense, isn’t always realistic – especially in our fast-paced, deadline-driven industry. It’s a rhythm. A flow. A constantly shifting dance between what life needs from you in one moment and what you need from life in the next.

The truth is, some days I’m deep in the grind – buried in submissions, returning calls, troubleshooting deals, and making sure every broker I work with feels seen and supported. Other days, I’m tending to our homestead, taking a walk with my dogs, sharing a moment with my husband, or preparing for the arrival of our first baby. Each day looks a little different. Each season of life demands something new. Some days, the inbox wins. Other days, life outside the laptop takes the lead. That ebb and flow is natural – and it’s become something I’ve learned to embrace instead of fight. And honestly? I’ve learned to be at peace with both.

The truth is that balance is never perfect – and chasing perfection can leave you constantly feeling like you’re falling short. Trying to keep everything “even” every single day only leads to frustration and burnout. Instead, I’ve started aiming for something more sustainable: alignment.

For me, alignment means being intentional about how I spend my energy. It means working for a company whose values I believe in, alongside a team I trust, doing work that genuinely energizes me. Working for a company whose values reflect my own and support me when the balance shifts. That kind of alignment doesn’t just fuel professional momentum – it makes the long days feel worth it. It gives me permission to set boundaries, to rest, and to show up fully in both my work and my life. Here’s something I didn’t understand early in my career: alignment requires boundaries.

In wholesale lending, we pride ourselves on being available – on moving fast, solving problems, and being that constant point of contact for our brokers. That’s part of what makes us great partners. But I’ve learned that always being “on” doesn’t serve anyone in the long run – not me, not my team, and not even the brokers I care so deeply about.

Establishing boundaries with my brokers has been one of the healthiest shifts I’ve made. It hasn’t damaged the relationships – it’s actually strengthened them. Why? Because clear communication builds trust. Because when you show people how you work best, and invite them to meet you there, you both operate more efficiently. Modeling boundaries gives others permission to do the same.

I’ve found that when I protect time for myself, my family, and my health, I show up better in the business. I’m sharper, more present, and more solution oriented. That’s good for me – and it’s great for my brokers. Alignment allows me to be fully present wherever I am – whether that’s on a Teams call walking through a tricky file, or at home in the garden, hands in the dirt and phone on silent. It frees me from guilt. It reminds me that I don’t have to be everything to everyone at once – I just have to be intentional, honest, and aligned with what matters most.

I’ve learned to stop measuring success by whether every area of life is perfectly “balanced” every day. Instead, I ask myself: Am I aligned with what matters most today? That might mean a full day of focused work. It might mean stepping away to be present for family. It might mean saying no to something good so I can say yes to something better aligned with this chapter of life.

Instead of chasing the illusion of “having it all” every day, I’ve learned to focus on what matters most in each moment. Some days, that’s jumping into a file to push a deal across the finish line. Other days, it’s stepping away from my desk to rest, recharge, or just be home and present for dinner. The ability to discern the difference – and to give myself permission to honor it – has changed everything.

That kind of clarity doesn’t happen without support. I’m grateful to work in an environment that respects real life – one that allows flexibility and encourages trust over micromanagement. And I don’t take that for granted. Having a strong team behind me, leadership that sees me as a whole person, not just a title, and broker relationships built on mutual respect – not 24/7 availability is what makes this rhythm sustainable.

So yes, I believe you can have it all – just not at once, and not in the same way every day. However, you can have what matters most when you live with intention. When you work in alignment with your values, and when you trust that the people around you will respect the boundaries you put in place – especially when they know you’re still fully invested in their success. Maybe that’s the point; life isn’t about achieving perfect equilibrium. It’s about knowing what matters, adjusting as you go, and giving yourself permission to live in alignment with your values.

That’s not just balance – that’s wisdom. It’s what allows me to grow a career I love, while building a life I wouldn’t trade for anything.

In the next and last part of the “Heart First, Hustle Always” Series, I will dive into Lead with Heart, Follow with Action to show how you can lead with empathy, authenticity, and putting people first in every situation can builds trust and drive results.